The Right Way

After noticing the pain in my wrists (which may or may not be caused by yoga), I convinced myself that the pain was caused by my high levels of stress and low energy. After a few days of no pain and meditation, I went bowling on Saturday and the pain came back. This just proved that my theory was most likely incorrect and the pain is probably caused by some physical issue. I will need to take care of my wrists more, but this is not a health and fitness blog so enough about that topic.

The positive thing about the pain is that it provided me the opportunity to take a step back and look at my life. I noticed that my life was filled with tons of activities, but I also had high stress and low energy. A month ago I meditated more often and read books on spirituality. Now I chose to watch sitcom re-runs and surf the web to search for one more hilarious picture of a cat. When did I diverge my focus from spirituality? I am no longer improving my life, but instead entertaining my time away.

The interesting part is that my focus was not only gone from my spiritual journey but also from work and extra curricular activities. Luckily, I noticed this important turn of events and will remedy the situation. The first thought I must ponder is "What is the difference between watching TV and reading a book on spirituality?"

The big picture answer is there is no difference. My life will most likely not be affected by such a small decision. So how do I make the right choice between watching TV and reading a book?

The right choice is individual specific and based on the current circumstances. The first step in this process is to acknowledge there is a choice. The conscious mind can then logically assess the situation and the unconscious mind can provide further insight. As a guideline to do the right thing, I use The Eightfold Path. The Eightfold Path is right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. If the outcome of the decision follows the Eightfold Path than it assures that the right decision is made.

If I go home from work and my conscious mind decides I should read or blog but my unconscious mind wants to watch TV, then I will use the super conscious mind as a hammer to enforce the right decision. If it turns out that my energy level is too low or I'm too wound up to focus on a book and instead should have watched TV, my conscious and unconscious mind will use this new found experience the next time I make a similar decision.

This method has one great benefit. Once I start making the right decisions in my daily choices, such as going to the gym, meditating, or reading, then I will more likely continue to make right decisions in m y life. A similar outcome happens for wrong choices being made because a wrong choice will perpetuate more wrong choices.

Suffering through Yoga

I was introduced to yoga a few months ago and I really enjoyed it. I immediately went off and bought a yoga mat, investigated a few studios, and tried a few classes. It was a different from going to the gym because I had to focus on the balance between the mind and body. Breathing consistently and mindfully became very challenging while performing intricate poses. I thoroughly enjoyed this challenge and was having a great time exploring it!

Lately, my wrists have a dull, consistent pain during the day. I have been very fearful and cognizant of carpal tunnel syndrome since high school. I used to come home from school and use AOL Instant Messenger for a few hours. I became really fast at typing. Then I would play my guitar for a couple of hours. This routine continued through college and graduate school. Both were very intense activities for my wrist. I also lifted weights and the slightest mistake would send a shooting pain through my entire forearm. I need to be very focused on my wrists while working out, typing, or playing my guitar.

Yoga has some very intense positions. At some points I thought I was ripping my arm out of my socket! Unfortunately, it was the basic positions which gave me the most agony. Downward dog and Plank caused me immense pain in my wrists. Not necessarily while performing the position, but the following few days I experienced discomfort. This caused problems at work because I sit behind a computer and type all day. I knew I had to come up with a solution.

Whenever I experience physical pain, I ask myself a couple of questions to determine where the pain is coming from. The first is always, "Did I do anything obvious that would cause pain?" If a bone is sticking out of my arm, then yes, the injury needs to be handled by a doctor. If the injury is not that extreme, the next question is always "Am I stressed?" In one my earlier blogs, I mentioned that I was feeling discomfort in my abdomen while running which was caused by my incorrect handling of stress.

Pain is the body's way of indicating that something is wrong. We take pain relievers so we can continue on with our normal activity rather than to stop and think about where the pain is coming from. If I reflect on the past few weeks, I have been rather stressed and ignoring meditating daily. I have been watching slightly more television and hanging out on my laptop more. My energy level is higher than it was a month ago, but not by much. Maybe I am taking on too many extracurricular activities and not having enough time for the things that I need to do.

The pain in my wrist could very well be from the yoga positions or they could be from stress. At this point, I am unsure of cause but the obvious solution is to take a recess from yoga until my wrists heal. I will also need to focus more on my stress and gaining energy. I will need to meditate more and not stay out all night on the weekends. Within a couple of weeks, I can attempt yoga again with more energy and less stress. Hopefully the pain will be gone and I can go back to doing yoga!

Understanding Anger

I recently experienced anger again and so many questions arose. Why was I angry? What caused this anger? Was my anger justified? Did I perform the right action? Was it worth being angry? I wanted to look closely at this experience and determined where this anger came from.

The background and specific circumstances to the incident are irrelevant. We have all been angry at someone and most of these situations arise because "he did something so wrong that he needs to be put back into his place". A typical response to anger is to march over there, raise your voice, point out his errors, and fix the situation. How many times does this solution work? Will the person ever look back and say "You're correct, I'll do what you think is right."? As soon as he opened his mouth to respond in a cool, calm manner, I realized that I lost control and I my actions were wrong.

Before my anger arose in me, I was sitting there feeling no animosity towards the situation. Then in a blink of an eye, I lost all control. If I did not have control, who gained control over me? The unconscious mind. Understanding the mind takes much insight and perspective into one's life. The unconscious mind decides what music you enjoy, comes up with that awesome gift for your girlfriend, and is the driving force behind spontaneous living room dance parties. It has many other great processing functions associated with it as well. The other side is the conscious mind which has a global perspective on situations and is highly logical. It slowly analyzes situations and is primarily used when making big decisions, such as should I take a new job offer. Both parts of the mind are very important to being successful and have their own strengths and weaknesses. I will go into more details on these differences in subsequent blogs.

While listening to the situation unfold, my conscious mind was analyzing the facts of what he did and gaining the global perspective by looking through his eyes at the situation. While it was in control, it realized that his actions were legitimate and he did not do anything wrong. The unconscious mind was looking at these facts and valuing them and rapidly coming to its own conclusion. Then I heard a new piece of information and the unconscious mind processed this information to be the worst possible thing to occur. The conscious mind also agreed that this was not good and gave full control to the unconscious mind to do what it wanted, which was to be angry. The unconscious mind had tunnel vision and disregarded all the information I collected. It did not care what anyone else said. It was ready to do anything needed to solve the problem.

If one reaches this point, there is little one can do. One should try to avoid giving full control to the unconscious mind because it lacks that global perspective. It does what it wants with little regard of others or what is best for you! One can sometimes anticipate the unconscious takeover by seeing that the mind is processing things extremely rapidly. At this point, if you focus on your breathing and clear out your mind, you may avoid a bad situation.

If my conscious mind was in control, there would have been a different outcome. I would have went in there and approached him with empathy. We could have both resolved the situation and came up with an amicable solution.

My Spiritual Past

When I first decided to blog about spirituality, I was trying to think of an intriguing hook to draw people to read and follow my blog. I realized a hook or gimmick would only succeed for a short period of time and that something with substance would be more helpful to people. Reflecting on my life, I decided my spiritual journey had the substance needed for a blog, and by letting people see my struggles and revelations it may help them on their journey.

Now that I had the topic, I needed to come up with a name for my blog. Contemplating on my life, I realized I was very spiritually motivated in high school and even wrote a senior thesis on the allure of Buddhism. I continued to take classes on religion in college but my spirituality began to wane. As a freshman, I was "spiritual but not religious", and I became agnostic by the time I was a senior. This decline continued and my main interests turned towards psychology and music.

A few years after college, I met a wonderful Catholic girl and I wanted to know more about her faith to strengthen our relationship. I joined a local parish, started the Rites of Catholic Initiation for Adults (RCIA), and began a search for my faith. I failed miserably. I expected a light to shine on me and for God to reveal Himself, similar to the scene in the movie the Blues Brothers where Jake sees the light. I cannot believe how naive I was! My failed attempt at becoming a Catholic turned me further from spirituality and I became angry and disheartened towards religion. I even claimed to be an atheist.

Then I met another amazing Catholic girl a few years later and God was very important to her. I knew that if I did not explore God and spirituality, the relationship would never succeed. I figured God and Catholicism has a positive impact on some of my friends' lives so something good may come from it. I put my negativity aside and decided to explore my faith. This time I knew I could not just join the RCIA or start going to mass without doing any research. I needed to invest time and energy but do what I thought was right. Rather than walk the path I thought she may want me to walk, I began carving out my own path.

I explored Catholic, Lutheran, and Protestant churches, found a Tibetan Buddhist meditation group, joined a yoga studio, read multiple books, and talked to friends and family. These experiences were the reawakening of my spiritual journey which remained dormant for a decade. Rather than showing up to mass and expecting the priest to hand me the light, I began searching for the light on my own. I read the weekly mass readings before mass and contemplated on them to better understand the Catholic faith. I read Buddhist books with my meditation group and discussed them. I read books on psychology to further understand the mind. I meditated on my own to gain greater insight into myself and life. I was back on a spiritual path, my path, and my life became better than ever.

Looking back I realize that for 10 years my spirit was starving. My life was filled with depression and sadness with glimpses of joy. I was driven by comforts and highs rather than taking a genuine joy in life. Luckily, I had the strength to make relatively good decisions and never went down a self destructive path (on multiple occasions I was so tempted to quit my job and become a full time guitarist). I was filled with emptiness and confusion. My spirit was hungry for something more but I never realized it. What was missing in my life was always inside me and I just had to acknowledge its presence. My spirit is no longer starving, but now it's always hungry for more.

My Meditation Practice

One of my readers requested a further description of my meditation practice, my difficulties of meditating daily, and how daily meditation benefits me. Meditation is useful but it requires a purpose. Why meditate? What is the goal of meditation? There are multiple forms of meditation, multiple purposes for meditating, and multiple reasons to meditate, so do not limit yourself to my reasons! My top reasons are to gain energy, clear my mind, relieve stress/anxiety/depression, and to gain further insight into myself.

My practice consists of attending a weekly meditation practice where we do sitting and walking meditation for about an hour. On my own, I do sitting meditation for about 10 minutes a day right after I get home from work. Many individuals prefer to meditate when they first wake up, but my mind is typically clear first thing in the morning. After work, I find it is beneficial to bring my energy up and clear my mind from the day's stresses or problems. I sometimes meditate right before I go to sleep to dissipate any random thought processes. This helps me fall asleep faster.

Focusing on the mind is very important for meditation but a proper posture enforces the mind's goals and purpose. I like this website's view on posture which I have copied and pasted here:

The Body:
- keeping the back straight, in whichever posture you meditate is most essential.
- try to be comfortable and physically relaxed, and avoid moving too much.
- keep the head straight, slightly bent forward, keep the teeth slightly apart, the tip of the tongue against the upper pallet.
- the eyes are best kept half-open (without really looking), but many beginners find that too distracting and close them.
- the shoulders should be relaxed and the hands can be put in one's lap.
- the legs can be in the full lotus (which not many Westerners manage), but also simply crossed. In fact, other positions like sitting on one's knees or on a bench are good as well. If all of these are too difficult, you can also use a chair, but remember to sit only on the front half of the seat, not leaning against the back rest to avoid a bent back, and keep the feet flat on the floor. Keeping the knees warm may help to avoid numbness of the legs.
- try belly-breathing; not breathing with the chest, but from the navel.
- always remember that the posture should enhance meditation, not be an obstacle! The Buddha even taught one of his disciples who had many problems with his posture to lie down with his back on a bed, and then he quickly made progress; however, most people tend to fall asleep - so it will not be suitable for everyone...

I would strongly urge to not close your eyes. At a weekend Buddhist retreat at Karma Triyana Dharmachakra in Woodstock New York, my teacher, Llama Yeshe, taught me that we are trying to wake up using meditation and one cannot wake up if his or her eyes are closed. Most of my meditation practices involve deep insight into myself, understanding the mind, and clearing the mind which cannot be done while asleep.

If my day was stressful or I am dealing with an emotional issue, I will increase my meditation to 20 minutes and split up what my mind is focusing on. For the first 10 minutes I will focus on my breathing and try to clear my mind. I acknowledge thoughts and allow them to dissipate, but do not focus on my thoughts. For the last 10 minutes, I will let my mind roam free but I will guide it to discover what is at the core of my stress, depression, or anxiety. Through this type of meditation, I have greater insight into myself and I can choose the right action to relieve the problem.

My biggest difficulty with meditation is that it takes time. 10 minutes a day is nothing, but it takes effort to take the time out of my busy day to sit and meditate rather than to rush to hang out with friends. My other difficulty includes keeping my mind focused, which takes a lot of practice. Clearing one's mind and focusing on one's breathing for a few minutes can feel like an hour. The other problem I encounter is forgetting the purpose of my meditation. Sometimes meditation becomes part of my routine and I just do it for the sake of doing it rather than actively think about why I am meditating. Without the purpose, meditation is worthless.

I have found many benefits to meditating. Meditating with a sangha (or Buddhist community) provides the benefit of being part of a community. Communities have the benefits of social interaction, exchanging ideas, and providing help and strength to one another. Meditation provides energy which is vital for me to be happier, more motivated, and a better person. Meditation also provides a deeper insight into myself. When I focus on a problem, I can come up with a logical solution to overcome the problem rather than do something destructive, such as over imbibing with alcohol.

A few months ago, I was using running as a way to relieve stress and punish my mind for thinking negative thoughts. I soon started to feel a pain in my abdomen while running but it did not seem to be a serious physical issue (if it was I would have gone to see a doctor). I decided to meditate before running to clear out the stress and negative thoughts and redirected the purpose of running to be healthier. The pain started to diminish and I no longer feel a pain in my abdomen while running! My purpose of reducing stress and negativity by running was causing me pain and through meditation (and discussing with friends) I was able to come up with an effective solution.

Meditation allows me to be a better person, be a stronger person, have a greater insight into myself, and to be happier.

Energy through Meditation

Throughout this blog, I will bring up fundamental concepts for spirituality, life, or psychology which should benefit anyone. These fundamental concepts are important to understand more complicated theories and techniques. Rather than listing and defining all the concepts at once, I am going to incorporate these concepts into blog posts which reflect a discovery or solution to a problem.

The first concept is energy. The best way to describe energy is for you to reflect on two different times in your life, one is when you had energy and the other is when you had no energy. Think about a time when nothing was going the way you wanted, you felt exhausted, you got frustrated easily, you were making small stupid mistakes, nothing interested you, and/or you could not focus on basic tasks. During a time like this, you probably had low energy. Now think to a time when everything was going wonderfully, you were the life of the party, you made jokes which made everyone laugh, you were creative, you could come up with amazing solutions to difficult problems, and/or life was filled with joy. This was probably a time of high energy. Thinking back, I come to the conclusion that life would be better if I had high energy all the time. But how can one gain or maintain energy?

The best way to acquire and maintain energy is by getting enough sleep, meditating, and avoiding energy draining activities. I have found that 8 hours of sleep a night allows me to function normally throughout the day. Lately, I have had difficulty sleeping through the night because my mind wakes me up at 4 AM and is determined to think about anything and everything. It could be trying to solve a problem I am dealing with at work or pondering on a cringe-worthy statement I made to a friend. If you find yourself in a situation like this, rather than tossing and turning for a couple of hours, I suggest you get out of bed and meditate.

Meditation can clear your mind which allows you to go back to sleep. While this blog is currently discussing meditation to help you fall back asleep, you should practice meditation daily and not wait until your life is out of control to start. Meditation can also be used for gaining energy by using the same technique described below.

There are countless books and websites on the proper meditation posture, so I will not go into a lot of detail here. Find a position that is comfortable for you, but for this type of meditation I would suggest you avoid lying down, keep your eyes open (because you are trying to "wake up"), and keep your knees lower than your butt (use a cushion).

Once you are in your comfortable posture, the first technique of meditation I will discuss is to focus on your breath. As soon as a thought enters your mind, acknowledge the thought and focus back on your breathing. Repeat as often as necessary throughout the meditation session. If starting your daily meditation practice, meditate for only 5 minutes because it takes practice to sit for extended periods. The more you practice, the longer you can sit with fewer problems, but do not over do it. This basic technique of focusing on your breath will relax you, clear out your mind, and increase your energy. When I wake up at 4 am and meditate rather than toss and turn, I will fall back asleep quicker and feel refreshed in the morning.

Lastly, avoid energy draining activities to maintain high energy. Watching 4 hours of television a night is an excellent example of an energy draining activity. You become tired watching TV, but never too tired to not continue watching. But I am not indicating that watching television is bad! I enjoy watching sitcoms so I find one sitcom per season and watch it. After the show is over, I turn off my television and do other productive activities. You need to find the right balance for these kinds of energy draining activities.

For the next week, focus on your energy level. Determine if you are doing anything which is significantly draining your energy and come up with a solution to this problem. Try to meditate daily and see if there is an increase in your energy level.